You're Forgiven
by lolhaha123
Summary: Clarke leaves camp alone (Post 2X16) only to find herself caught by the Grounders, or more specifically, one Grounder Queen. Bellamy refuses to give up on her and follows. (Mostly Bellarke, maybe a little Clexa. Will alternate between Clarke and Bellamy's POV. Please review and let me know if this actually sounds interesting lol).
1. Chapter 1

I could barely breath. It was just too much.

"If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven. Please come inside," Bellamy pleaded quietly. I couldn't even look at him, or I knew I wouldn't be able to say what I had to say.

"Take care of them for me," He flinched slightly as I said it. We both knew what I meant. After this, there was no going back.

"Clarke" he protested.

I interrupted him. "Seeing their faces everyday, is just gonna remind me of what I did to get them here." My chest felt so heavy with guilt, I could barely stand.

"What we did," he said, touching my arm lightly. It sent a jolt of electricity through my body. "You don't have to do this alone."

I could see his eyes saying everything his words couldn't. I knew that leaving would hurt him, I knew that we weren't just friends. Over the past few weeks, he had become everything to me. But I couldn't stay. Seeing me everyday would destroy him.

I turned to look at the camp one last time, to see what I had done. "I bear it," I said, "so they don't have to." _I bear it so you don't have to, _I thought.

"Where are you gonna go?" Bellamy asked me.

"I don't know." I had no clue. All I knew was that I needed to leave. Now.

Quickly I closed the space between us and kissed his cheek. I felt him lean into me, and for a second it was just the two of us. I hugged him and felt his arms tighten around me. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to let go.

Before I lost my nerve, I whispered, "May we meet again." I pushed him away gently and turned towards the woods. I couldn't look back. I wouldn't be able to handle the pain and hurt I know I would see in his eyes, or the way his shoulders sagged slightly, like he had been defeated.

I felt some of the weight lift from my chest and I knew I had made the right choice. For the 47, for my mom, for Bellamy. For me. I hadn't been able to look any of them in the eye on our walk back from Mount Weather. I had killed them. I had killed them all. Bellamy tried to take responsibility, but I couldn't let him. This would have destroyed him, and Octavia needed him. The Sky People needed him.

_I needed him. _I pushed this thought from my mind and quickened my pace towards the tree line. I knew there would be Grounders close, but I didn't care. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was going to do. I couldn't stay, but where could I go?

It wasn't until I had entered the forest that I heard an awful wail from far behind me. Tears sprung to my eyes as I hear my mother yell my name, wracked with sobs. And suddenly, I couldn't take it. I started to run as sob after sob escaped me. My tears blinded me and I didn't know where I was going. Soon I collapsed on the soft soil, unable to breath. I lay there, unable to move, as I felt the full weight of what I had done wash over me. I had killed them. I had killed them _all. _I should have waited just a few more seconds for Jasper, everything would be different. I should have waited.

I lay there, curled up in a ball, as my sobs turned to silent tears streaming down my face. I was tired. I was so, so tired. I let my eyes close and numbness overtake me as I drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own anything so pls let me be, copyright

BELLAMY'S POV:

I couldn't believe she had left. That she had actually left. I griped my gun hard and saw my knuckles go numb under the pressure. Anything to take my mind off what had just happened. I watched her walk towards the forest and could see the burden she carried. Her shoulders sagged and I saw the desperation I felt mirrored in her. Clarke thought she could do this by herself, she thought that I could handle this. But I can't.

I couldn't watch her disappear. Walking away was one thing, but I couldn't think that this might be the last time I ever saw her. My chest felt tight and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I turned around and walked through the gate towards the Arc. Miller and his dad shut the gate behind me. I was so happy to see them together, to have the 47 home, but the cost had been huge.

I was only a few steps from the gate when I heard it. Abby Griffin, screaming her daughters name at the top of her lungs. I turned quickly towards the sound and saw her struggle to stand, pushing past Kane. Everyone outside the Arc had stopped what he or she were doing and turned to watch her. Her body shook and tears fell down her face. Before I knew it, I had dropped my gun and was running towards her. I managed to arrive just in time to catch her as her legs gave way. She tried to fight me, push me away, but I just held her as she cried. The sound she was making was horrible. The combination of sobbing and crying out for Clarke made it almost impossible to breathe.

Kane motioned for me to follow him towards the Arc. Abby had stopped trying to push me away and had instead buried herself in my chest, falling silent. I felt the tears shake her body with every step I took, my own misery mirrored in her. Everyone else had gone back to whatever they had been doing before, ignoring the outburst completely.

When we arrived in the medical bay, I laid Abby down a cot and turned to leave. "Please," I heard feebly from behind me, "someone please sedate me." Her tears had not stopped and her breathing was increasing. I moved quickly towards the cabinets, but Kane beat me to it, giving her a small dose of what we had used on Lincoln. Abby fell silent and I saw the worry lines leave her face as she relaxed. She quickly drifted off to sleep, leaving Kane and I alone.

"Mission control, now." He ordered quietly, leaving quickly. I stood for a moment, watching Abby sleep. I wished that I could do the same, escape this horrible desperation and guilt. But I knew that when Abby woke up, there would be a moment that she would forget what had happened. She would forget that everyone in Mount Weather was, that her daughter was gone, that we had lost so many. And then everything would come rushing back, and she would feel worse. I had only one option; to deal with this now. I needed to be a leader. As much as I wanted to find an empty room and sob, I couldn't. My people needed me.

I left Abby in the empty medical bay and made my way through the winding corridors. The stillness of the Arc always left me on edge, evidence that everything that had happened was not just a dream turned nightmare.

I found Kane in mission control with a few other guards I didn't know by name and sat in an empty chair at the main table. Kane was occupied giving orders to the guards so I toyed with the little Grounder figurine left on the table from the war plan. All I could see was Clarke standing in front of that door, desperate for a way to save our people.

"Blake," Kane's harsh tone brought me out of my musings. I quickly dropped the figurine and stood.

"Yes, sir?"

"I need to know where Clarke went," He said, never taking his eyes from me. I inhaled sharply and felt my eyes prick with tears. There was no way I was going to cry in front of Kane.

"I don't know," I said quietly, turning from him. I walked over to a control panel and fiddled with a now-useless button.

Kane didn't move, but said again, "Tell me where she's going."

"I don't know!" I yelled at him, suddenly facing him. "Do you think that if I knew where Clarke went, that I would be here, with you?" I felt the tears fall silently from my eyes, but I didn't care. "She left, isn't that enough? She left because of us, because of what she had to do. She left because of me." I walked over to the model of Mount Weather and picked up the piece of clay that served as the door. Then I threw it at the wall with all my strength. It shattered on impact, leaving a dusty imprint on the wall. Kane watched in silence as I picked up piece after piece of fake scenery and destroyed them, until nothing but that tiny Grounder remained. I was breathing heavily, and collapsed in the empty chair, silent.

Kane pulled out the chair across from me and sat. I could feel his gaze on me as I held my head in my hands, waiting for this wave of rage to pass. After what seemed like hours, I mustered up the strength to look at him. His eyes were soft and I could see the pity he felt for me. I was too tired to be angry or abrasive, so I sat and waited.

"I'm sorry, Bellamy," he started, "I just needed to make sure that you didn't know where she was." He folded and unfolded his hands on the table in front of him. I could sense there was something he had to say, so I waited. "Stay out of sight for a few days, okay? " Finally he looked me in the eyes and I saw something that shocked me; Kane looked scared. "What happened is still fresh, and if people get angry about what you both did to those people in Mount Weather, I won't be able to protect you. Clarke is gone for now, but you need to be smart. Stay out of everyone's way for a few days, until the dust starts to settle. We need to keep you safe."

Kane's words weren't exactly shocking, but they still stung like a slap on the cheek. "Or," I responded steadily, "let you after her." I could see that my suggestion wasn't surprising to him, but the look of disapproval was obvious.

"No, absolutely not." He shook his head vehemently. If the situation hadn't been so dire I might have been tempted to laugh. "You will stay. Sooner or later we will have to make peace with the Grounders, and if Clarke isn't here, it has to be you. Bellamy, this isn't a suggestion." His tone was final, and he stood to leave. I pushed back my chair and was about to protest when I saw the guards at the door. "I'm sorry Bellamy," he explained, "I can't risk it. They will bring you to your room."

"Abby will never forgive you. If you don't go after Clarke she will never forgive you." I griped the table hard, refusing to lose my cool again.

But Kane just looked at me. I knew that he knew what he was doing, what this would do to her. But he was going to do it. He turned to the guards and told them, "If he doesn't cooperate, lock him up." With that he left the room, leaving me with the two guards. I couldn't fight them, I had been fighting for so long. I would find a way to get out, to go after her. Clarke, she was the reason I could live with what I had done on Earth, she was – she was my person. During the time since our first steps on Earth, she had been a constant force of nature, making sure our humanity survived. Without her, we would be nothing, I would be nothing. I followed the guards quietly, and started to think. I needed to get out of here.


End file.
